That Scared Little Girl

It has been a week. While it’s not all bad, there have been quite a few unexpected challenges and costs that have come up. And the overwhelming thoughts and feelings creep in. A lot of changes and new things. A lot of work consuming my time, suffocating me with the reminder that there will never be enough.

A lot of fear.

What if I can’t handle it? What if I don’t have what it takes to make it? What if I just can’t stand alone? OR with another? What if I’m broken or just defective?

These are familiar old thoughts and feelings. I’ve come some way from a time when this fear was my entire life, and I believe I’m still going to cover a lot more ground. But still, there are times when I have to fight this darkness back again.

Things are aren’t going my way right now, but that’s ok. I will still trust that God is healing me even if I don’t see it.

I’ll leave you with a verse from my current lives-on-repeat song.

When your heart beats fast
And your soul is overwhelmed
You got that weight there on your chest
And it's trying to hold you down
And the demons from your past
Say you'll fall every time you try
Well, you can stay there in that mess
But darling, you were born to fly
(Stronger, Ellie Holcomb)

Darling, you were born to fly…