That Scared Little Girl

PROMPT: How are you brave?

I felt the pull of this prompt, and even though I didn’t respond to it immediately, the question lingered in my heart. How am I brave? But really, I kind of want to know.

So I looked around…

Lipstick. I saw my reflection in my mirror and the leftover stain of the deep berry red that was much brighter than I was used to still radiated back. I recently purchased a new color of lip stain that I’ve come to appreciate. This is a new thing for me. It makes me stand out a bit and I never wanted that before now. And honestly, my goal in wearing it now isn’t even necessarily to stand out, I just liked the idea of trying it out. I’ve always been incredibly hesitant to wear noticable makeup, esepcially in every day outings such as work and church. Yet there I was with what I would consider a piercing red color on my lips… and it was kind of cute.

Over this last year or so I’ve really opened up to discovering new parts of myself and trying new things. It was a personal practice I didn’t know I desperately needed, but I absolutely did.

Skincare and make-up have been a big area of growth for me. I never thought I was good at it, so that became what I believed about myself. I’m just not good at make-up and that’s that. I’ll always look like a frumpy little girl. But I’m in a new place mentally and emotionally, a place much different than anywhere I’ve been before. I feel like I’m coming alive. I’m finally living… breathing life deeply. The air feels different in this place. Cleaner. More crisp and fresh. It’s exciting, but also a little scary. New things and new ideas start to creep into my head and heart, but it takes awhile for me to try, if I try it at all.

To do something new, I have to step out of the old. Bleh.

And as much as I may complain about the old at times, at least I know my way around there.

The new is unknown and the what-ifs of failure can wrap its hands around your throat, making it hard to breathe…

But lately, I’ve been more inclined to respond to that call… that beckoning… that voice saying, Why not?

And that’s where Brave happens…

There can be a lot of reasons why not, but there will always be a reason why… Because you have to.

To be alive is to grow and change. To grow, you have to experience new. And to experience new, sometimes you have to wear the red lipstick.

Try that new thing you’ve been hesitant to try, scared of what the new and unknown will look like. Do the thing that has been calling your name, stepping out of your familiarity.

Be brave.

Buy the lipstick. Buy the bright, berry red lipstick.