That Scared Little Girl

So I did a thing. A thing I’ve only ever attempted maybe once or twice in my life from what I can remember. I baked. Like, truly baked–not from a tear-open package, but with real ingredients and it was fun!

It was another small moment of feeling some accomplishment. Let me say this: I am not a baker as the title definitely implied. Strangly, it’s been something I was a little scared and leary to try. Maybe because, like any type of cooking, its product is meant to be enjoyed by others and I truly didn’t trust that anyone could enjoy anything I created. I didn’t trust myself. I had never wanted to put myself out there and make myself vulnerable to others. (I grew up “knowing” that it was safer to stay hidden and unseen. Exposing yourself in any new or creative way opened you up to criticism and worse, rejection. So no thank you. If you know, you know.)

But this was a unique occasion and opportunity. My sister is in town (and is currently sitting across from me, working on her own blog as I write this) and it was her birthday so I decided I could flex my creativity into a new area. She likes cookie cakes, so I found what looked like a tried and proven recipe claiming to be the Great American Cookie recipe, collected the ingredients from the grocery store, and made a game plan.

I can remember when I moved here, about eleven years ago, I tried making scones from scratch (way easier than you would expect, which is why I chose them at the time), but I can’t remember any other time when I have really tried to bake. I was a reader and a writer. That was my thing, so I stuck with that. My other sister baked growing up. It was her thing, so I didn’t bother trying. I guess I’m more of a salty over sweet person, so I lean more toward savory food in general. Whatever the reasons, I’ve always stayed far away from the kitchen.

In the past year or two however, as you’ve probably noticed if you’ve read any of my other blogs, I’ve been feeling ready to stretch myself and branch out, trying new and old things that I’ve been hesitant to try for most of, if not all of my life. And so with this opportunity, I felt ready to put myself out there.

I thought this little baking project would be a fun subject to blog about so I planned to take pictures. Half of the time I spent baking was actually gathering the ingredients and making them look presentable so that I could snag a picture. I pretended that I was a real food blogger and imagined how awesome everything was going to look. I had some storebought icing and decided to try the ziplock bag technique. Considering I’ve never even thought about icing or decorating a cake, it went much better than I expected. I think it would have been better if I had cut the hole smaller for the writing first, and then made the hole a little bigger for the edging.

I describe the appearance as “Welp. I tried.” It’s a little laughable, but in a sincerely humorous and genuine way. I don’t despise it. Honestly, I had a great time playing around with it. I don’t think it will be making any food bloggers website any time soon, but I had fun! And guess what. It actually tasted good!

I did that. I made that. And after sharing with my sister and a few friends, I feel GOOD and I’m really proud of myself for trying. I have more confidence thanks to this homely little creation.

The more things I try, the longer my list gets of things I want to try and the more I am learning that I can trust myself and that I’m capable of more things than I’ve always limited myself to. On to more new things!

What are some things you have tried to stretch yourself and grow?